Two Friends Have Passed On Due to Cancer

It has been a long week.  On Sunday afternoon (July 22) I learned that my colleague and friend, Professor Kris Sikorski passed away.  He has been fighting the battle with cancer since last August (2011).  In trying to think of one word that captures Kris as a researcher, as an educator, as a fellow colleague, and as a friend—the word that comes to mind is sincere. Kris will indeed be truly missed.  Kris' memorial service was on Thursday evening, and a celebration mass was held on Friday (July 27).  Just before entering mass, I learned that my other friend who was fighting cancer, Dr. Bill Roberts passed away.  Bill had a classic "batman" character.  At work (i.e. "by day"), he was a brilliant researcher and scientist, overseeing a large pathology lab here at the U.  When not at work (i.e. "by night"), he was a devoted husband and father, and an avid outdoorsman.  My last memory of Bill was from about a month ago.  Even then, his body was weak from his fight with cancer.  He could hardly move, and spoke very little.  However, when his wife arrived home from church, he could her her voice … he smiled and said her name aloud.

Both Kris and Bill are no longer with us but with the Lord.  The will live on here though the lives of those with whom they interacted.  The will live through their impact on their children and students, both at the U and at their respective churches. Neither of them will be forgotten.  

Marriage - A Life of Shared Experiences

You can tell a lot about a person by the tone with which they recall memories.  We all have things in our lives that we seek to actively remember -- things like, possibly, the day of our wedding, or the day one of our children is born.  But then again, there are lots of things that we can recall from the past when our memories are jogged by a song, or a smell, or a sound, or some other cue.  Whenever this happens to you, or when you are listening to someone going through the process of recollection, pay attention to the 'tone' of the memory.  Does the person naturally gravitate towards the positive or quirky or funny, or do they focus on the negative? 

I have just recently celebrated my wedding anniversary, which has motivated me to take the proverbial stroll down memory lane.  To say that I have been "happily married" for 17 years would possible be viewed as either a blatant lie or an optimistic exaggeration considering all the things that have happened since my wife and I joined together.  However, I think it is fair to say that our decision to marry was in part love (of course) but also in part the mutual admission that we wanted to have a shared experience.  Marriage is just that -- it is the decision to join in a life of shared experiences.  Were some experiences blissful - yes.  Was every experience bliss - no.  The joy after 17 years of marriage is to admit that in spite of the nature of the particular experience, what is important to me is that I was able to share it with my spouse.  I look forward to many more experiences together.